Inspired by a Spider in the Light of the Setting Son

By going out into the natural world, I am really going in . -John Muir

Today I lay a on the hammock and read an article about Transcendental meditation for my Taoist Meditation paper and I saw this spider perfectly building it's web. Watching this masterpiece unfold was magnificent. The spider innately knew just how to string each strand together. A spider like a science and an artist in one. And so it is in nature I come to recognize the universal divine and know I am one with it. Today I have been inspired by a spider!

 July 28, 2011

Go Within

To know the highest, know your depths. To soar beyond, Go within. To touch the boundless, accept the limitations. To reach the dawn, endure the night. To know the eternal, you must know the beginning. to know the birth of all things, you must walk the middle way. Like the eyes of a mighty tempest, the winds rage and rush about. But in the middle of the storm there is calmness. Wisdom begins by knowing that you do not know. Wisdom grow through the acceptance of things as they are. In doing acts of goodness, wisdom blossoms. Being free of complaints you see beyond the shadows. Filled with desire and ever seeking, the mystery is born within. Reaching out with great resolve, the light of understanding quiet descends. For understanding is the fruit of wisdom, casting light within the darkness, revealing always the greater portion filled with many wonders. For the character of the self is the only destiny. For character is made and not inherited. Exposing within the simplest of men and women, the mystery of a far more noble birth. To make of paupers, Kings and Queens dressed in endless glory. -Song of God

Spirit Like Water

Spirit is like water, content to dwell in lowly places; taking shape wherein it dwells, it refreshes and renews. Giving birth to life and life to man. It ascends to possess great depth, hiking up the mystery. In seeking spiritual things, the waters rise within you. Flooding first the lowest valleys, rising up above the hills' swallowing up the highest mountains, to bear you closer unto God. Time is a river, It rushes quickly on.Carrying away upon the flood, the days of all your life. Ever moving, never resting It takes you from the past to give you place within today. Gushing onward, quickly still it rushes to the sea. Lifting you beyond the moment, spilling you into eternity. Thus is the Master become like water poured upon the earth; seeking out the lowest places, the Master is humble and always gracious. Like water in a parched and weary land, The Master refreshes and enlivens, to make in the desert, a garden for the Soul. Living not unseen tomorrows, the Master dwells within today. Being content within each moment, the Master embraces eternity. Opening wide the gates of the Soul the Master is at one with creation.

An Evolving Course

We began as a mineral.

We emerged into plant life and into

the animal state, and then to being human.

And always we have forgotten our former states,

except in early spring.

When we dimly recall being green again.

That is how a young person turns

toward a teacher, how a baby leans

toward the breast, without knowing

the secret of its desire,

yet turning instinctively.

So humankind is being led along

and evolving course through this migration

of intelligences, and though we seem

to be sleeping, there is an inner wakefullness

that directs the dream.

It will eventually startle us back

to the truth of who we are.

-Rumi

Empty Space

Thirty spokes together make a wheel for a cart. It is the empty space in the center which enables it to be used. Mold clay into a vessel; is it the emptiness within that creates the usefulness of the vessel. Cut out the doors and windows in a house;it is the empty space inside that creates the usefulness of the house. Thus, what we have may be something substantial, But its usefulness lies in the unoccupied, empty space. The substance of your body is enlivened by maintaining the part of you that is unoccupied. -Tao Teh Ching

Beginning to Dance to My Drum Beat

How beautiful it is to march to the beat of your own drum even if others don't agree or think you odd or weird. And how sad for those who tune out their own drum beat to dance in step of others wether it be religious or societal, just because they are too afraid or too unconscious to delve into the depths of who they really are and listen to their unique and authentic music. For the first time in my life I am beginning to hear and dance to my own tune and it is my essence, my truth, my virtue. I find myself feeling like I did when I was a kid, before all the programming blocked and blinded me from who I was. Interesting in finding my truth I seemed to have to unlearn a few things.  My intention and hope is that we can all dance to our music, listen to our truth and be the virtue we are inherently within and come to know it not by anyone telling us how to, or what we should do to find it. It comes by letting go of trying to be something, because we already are perfection. I in gratitude give thanks for the love that I am!

Hailey Dawn Armstrong June 22, 2011

Gift of a Rose: like the Essence in You

The smell of a rose! I have this thought about roses; there are so many beautiful ones all over. I, like a bee prance around smelling each one. And now and then I come upon that one rose that resonates such exquisite essence that fills my soul, soothes my heart and enlivens my every cell. And in that moment I know that heaven is here, it is inside of me and I am grateful for the magical beauty and creation of a rose.

Hailey Dawn Armstrong 

In the Next Seat

Are you looking for me? I am in the next seat. My should is against yours. - Kabir

That's not the guy sitting next to you on the subway speaking; it's God... Sufi Muslim Poet- Are you looking for me? I am in the next seat. My shoulder is against yours. You will not find me in stupas, nor in indian shrine rooms, nor in the synagogue, nor in cathedrals; not in masses, nor kirtans, not in legs winding around your own neck, nor in eating nothing but vegetables. When you really look for me, you will see me instantly.- you will find me in the tiniest house of time. Kabir says, "Student, tell me, what is God" he is the breath inside the breath". Be still, wake up! I say to myself. Stop running all over the place and just look into the eyes gazing upon you from the next seat.- Every Day Serenity, Kundtz

SEEing things as they are, not as they appear!

I ask that I can see what is hidden, hear what isn't said, and feel the core of a persons essence underneath the behavior. That I can be still and find peace in silence in the knowing my life is divinely directed, and I am part of the creation. In sharing, listening, holding another's hand, walking with them, playing, laughing healing occurs as gracefully as a flower growing and blooming into its fullness. We each can be a light to help another find in themselves their own! And together we discover our wholeness. I give thanks for all of you who have been apart of my journey and continued self discovery and sharing of the love. For we are all united and one.

 April 22, 2011

I AM COMPLETE

"I am complete, possessing within the heart and mind, the fullness of all things desired, for nothing added can make me more, nothing taken away can make me less. I am complete being lost in God and made content, graced by oneness and undivided, being fully whole and firmly fixed, to stand unbroken by hurtful want. I am complete, set free of covetous desire, dwelling beyond the touch of greed, making from my daily life, a banquet worthy of partaking. I am complete, containing within the whole creation, ascending through dreams to the heights of heavens, reaching deeper than the great abyss, filled within by sun and moon and stars. I am compete, having within my life, the sum of all totalities; being free of that grasping and clutching need, which makes ruin the life of many. I am compete, joyous and filled with song, happy and well-comported, finding within a fount of blessing, springing eternal from the heart of God. I am compete, like a circle embracing life, containing within the all in all, for nothing added can give me more, nothing taken away can give me less."

- Song of God

Yummy Rose

Following your heart may lead you to new and unknown adventures, but they will be worth it beyond your imagination. I followed my heart to California and I am soooooooo glad I did! I am so blessed to have made the neatest souls, grown more than I could understand, cried more than ever and have gone deep into the heart of me, I walk back out with new eyes, a new heart and a new me! Life just keeps getting better n better! MMMM YUMMY!! Like the rose... the sweetness of the essence is worth the prick of the thorns.

Let it Splash Inside My Chest

I love these lines from Rumi...it goes like this: "When the ocean surges, don't let me just hear it. Let is splash inside my chest! "And so I feel the same about life, don't let me just watch the frisbee, or rock skip across the lake or bird fly, let me feel it, Let me be on the rock, the frisbee and let me feel the wind under my wings. Don't let me just watch the movies and read the books and listen to the music. Let me feel what it is to fly, to play, to write and create the music and art from within so others can feel you!

Return To Wholeness

Again I am brought to my little black book of notes from, "The Five Spirits"- Returning to Wholeness: parts of us that need to die can die, and something truly can come to life=Healing process. It includes these two parts:

1st Phase: The emergence Holding steady in the Darkness

While a person is till going down, crisis, active stillness in confusion and despair. It takes place when we finally let go. Use our will to "not do" even while every part of us is screamign to take action to fix the problem. We surrender the light of consciousness, light of hte ego. We sacrifice rational knowings and plunge head first into the unknown.  TRUST, WAIT, SURRENDER to the Unknown.

We must stay long enough in the darkness. We must stay still while we hold the tension between two opposing polarities.  Like water wait patiently tell the next step arises spontaneously up from a deeper part of nature. Often we have tremendous desire to break out of our situation.

2nd Phase: Stabilizing zhi, becoming the mountain.

We pass the dark gate of chaos(yang within yin)  It is a returning. Stabilizing of will. how a human becomes like a mountain=how the wholenss of self is reborn. We must stabilize the intinctual life force, the zhi. By sacrificing the conscious doing of the ego. then we become aware of another light shining from the darkness= light of the essences of embodiment of matter=appearance of lower light=rebirth of spirit!

Tables are turned=yang shines from below rather from above=ALCHEMICAL marriage: fire joins water and zhi joins with shen. A New Illumination enlightens us and leads the way back to our path. We return to our self but in a new way. WE align our individual will with Tao and attain wisdom. The light of the spirit becomes the root of foundation consciousness awareness. Lowers itself down to support our original nature. Power and Potency of our Insticts are stabilized by our HEARTS. WE gain wisdom through out journey and we are twice-born !

Encountering the Dark Mother:

 Descend to the bottom of the labrynths of Kunlun mtn. Facing XiWang Mu. =release parts of us that need to die and wait to see if anything comes to life! No certain answers or outcomes. Trust the larger wisdom will enlarge to support and guide us. 

And with all that said: I read this this morning and I had chills waving over and through my body and tears filled my eyes. I had thought that I was going through the process a few years ago thinking it would be the turn around in a few months. Not two more years. This last year of my life has been me literally venturing into the UNKNOWN of my soul, the dark caverns that were uncharted and unmarked. I have been guided and surprised at the room, the depth, the darkness, the sorrow, and fear, and anger I found.  In this darkness of my soul I have played with fire, drugs, sex, energy, tested and questioned the questions in my upbringing you didn't ask. I asked the questions, I stepped out into the dark unknown because I...I am a pioneer to the discovery of the fullness of who I am. Many might never have the courage to enter this aspect of themselves or open the door that looms in the shadow. Many run the other way in fear  (I almost did) . In fear of discovering their ugliness, the stuff people shouldn't know about. The stuff inside you'd rather not look at. I dove head first into more than I could have even imagined. I was so blessed to have a dear travelor to be there with me as I took the steps down, and down. And we seemed to travel and discover and evolve at a rapid pase, that was not comfortable.

I have so much gratitidue for the magic in my life, the beauty and the love. I am so grateful for the discovery and awareness of my darkness for within it I have become reborn, renewed. In the darkness I found and am finding My  Light, My Path, My Way. I am discovering who I am, what I am about, what I am made of. And there is  a tough, spunky, deep, tender hearted, spirit warrior goddess in me. A guardian and champion and voice for children and families.  A goddess of light creating with my words, my painting and the work of art I call my body. A woman that is stepping out of the old skin that doesn't serve me any more. And stepping up and into the fullness of who I am and what I have always been underneath it all. Knowing this process is a continual journey and I am excited to venture forth with my tiny feet and discover all that I can about life and myself in relation to all creation.  And with this journey I intend to share the insights, the story, the wisdom, the triump and the endless love and amazing resiliance of spirit. As we trust, let go and with forgiveness accept all of who we are, ever have been and look out with a spark in our eyes to all that we will create the world will transform as we emerge into the wholenss of who we are. 

January 7, 2012 Hailey Dawn Armstrong

Bird Song from Inside the Egg

 There is an excess is spiritual searching that is profound ignorance. Let that ignorance be our teacher. The friend breathes into one who has no breath. A deep silence revives the listening and the speaking of those two who meet on the river bank. Like the ground turning green in a spring wind, like the birdsong beginning inside the egg. Like this universe coming into existence, the lover wakes, and whirls in a dancing joy, then kneels down in praise.- Rumi

Thoughts on Love

What is this things we call love, it is in the presence we feel, it is in the silence of our lost souls that we are found. It is in the letting go we discover truth , it is in the surrendering that we accomplish more than we ever could imagine. It is in the exhale we find the desire for a new breath, it is in the new life, and this change of constance we grow, learn and love, and evolve into what we came here to experience. our highest selfs our true and original nature. In this sphere we call earth, we are neither home or abroad, we are in a school, our home is in our soul once we remember who we are and recognize our divine essence. Our Heaven being within, our searching stops and in the giving we transcend to realize it is all about what we can share and give to the world and how we can help each other experience this bliss, this love that we ultimately are. Come to me and let us play, together let’s discover hidden treasures of joy that await your uncovering. In this space of laughter, of inspiration to learn and grow we connect with source, the source of who we are. We feel alive, connected, grounded, sure, unstoppable and creative. Come together lets let our selves be set free. Free of fear, labels, expectations and others opinions and agendas. Be in this breath as we play feel your aliveness, feel your breath, feel your magical power that is in your every cell, now let’s embody and integrate this wholeness that we are. And together as a unit, we that inhabit this earth, let’s come together and breathe, let’s be one, let us love, let us see into one another’s eyes and see one self and the whole at the same time. For we are the universe, the stars, the ocean, the children, the animals, we are the earth. And it is showing us what it needs. It desires harmony, love, unconditional, everyone to take care of each other. There is abundance everywhere, when you feel that love and wholeness within no child will ever go to bed hungry, hurting, alone, scared, unloved. There is enough of us to take care and love everyone Why are people hurting, killing, angry, lying? Why are people in fear? This fear is old, it is ancient. We must transcend it all. We must be Love! Connect to our truth, be in alignment with it. So others can feel that high vibration and desire that within themselves and the whole world will transform from the inside out. We are the inside of the earth and let us all step inside, take a look around and sit with stillness. Let us face our fears, realize they are just thoughts, they are not reality. Realize that with our thoughts we truly create, we are energy and we create with intention and thought. our sexuality is the root of our connection to our highest potential of the divine. This sexual energy within is our divinity. There is no separation. It is how we harness, channel and transform this energy to a state of highest vibration that will bring us all to new awareness of our potential and purposes on this earth. Oh partner of my highest self I call to you. I call you to my highest self to reunite yourself within the home of my heart and with me stay, entwine with my every cell and make me new. Help me see my wholeness my oneness my unique potential and gift to give the world. For I am! I am and it is now and so it is AMEN!

In Truth of Light & Darkness

                                                                                                       

 Truth is light and wether or not it feels like light or darkness is up to the person receiving the truth and how they interpret it as so. One on the path of truth, aligned with the Tao, living authentically from your truth may not travel an easy path, but it can be a path with hills and valleys sprinkled with roses, that have some thorns. But on this path one thing is certain; there will be much growth. It won’t be easy or comfortable and change is the only constant.

When one is of truth the with holding of truth in attempt to bring or keep another in their light in order to help them not feel darkness because of the truth is in an of it self going against it’s nature. Truth is like a sword cutting asunder all falsehood or unauthentic paradigm of the psyche that invades the essence of the soul or being. And sometimes this can feel like surgery or an attack or even a separation from self or source. When in fact it is cultivating and guiding to greater wholeness and oneness of the mind, body and spirit. Sometimes we need truth to act as a surgical tool to cut us away from the facades, the masks, the societal paradigms that don’t serve our higher good and keep is separated from our origin and our true nature, and ultimately love.

This truth can be like a sword and it can come in many forms; from another’s presence, their actions, words or non actions. We are all here as mirrors and swords to help each see and discover who we really are. Which without one another would we ever truly come to know our original nature our true self?

It is through our interactions, our communications and our triggers that show us whats inside of us and in those times of pressure or uncomfortableness what comes out shows us largely what we are made of based on our paradigms and old patterns and programming. When these comes up we can look at them and choose consciously to authentically create actions, thoughts, and feelings that are in greater alignment with the truth of our being.

There are those people that come into our lives who show us that our patterns or our beliefs which may be something like this; “you have to do it all alone and the people you love most and care about don’t come through, so just do it by yourself”, are in fact lies or not truths, but memories from something that once existed and no longer does in this moment. But most importantly those people show you by their presence and ceaseless desire to serve and love and be there when it is most difficult and uncomfortable that you don’t have to do it all alone, and there are people who love you and ultimately will always be there and come through when you need them. Those friends are like rare treasures. As precious and enlivening to the soul as the smell of the most potent rose enfolding all fear with this radiant glow of love and light.

A friend, a presence can be the best medicine, the love and consistency can sooth and heal any wound or false belief that there is nothing lacking. We have everything we need already within. Sometimes we are given a wonderful blessing and presence of a friend or a mirror or a sword to cut through all our bullshit and show us just how perfect and worthy of unconditional love we are.

And so I am in gratitude for the recognition of my patterns and the people in my life that mirror to me my light and darkness that I can see with eyes that see the into my depths the beauty, the ugly and create a masterpiece with my thoughts, words, and actions and ultimately my life. And this is true that I wouldn’t be able to create such a masterpiece unless I had the black and white, the darkness and the light from which to create a variety of hues, and tones. It is in the contrasts that I find myself and as I mix together the black and white I integrate a new reality of wholeness that is my origin! The paint brush is in my hands, and all you around me are my mirrors, swords, helping me discover the unknown colors within my self and with each new discovery the masterpiece of perfection will never be the same by the presence of you!